Chocolates? I can finish a box in under five minutes.
Flowers? I’m allergic and they end up wilting.
A bouquet of bacon roses? Now we’re talking!
Of all the holidays of the year, Valentine’s Day is my least favourite. I associate it with soppy love songs, unmet expectations and cheesy, useless gifts. There’s just so much pressure to come up with a unique way of saying “I Love You” or “Be My Valentine” that isn’t completely done to death.
If you’re a lively pair of lovebirds that seek out the humour in life, your Valentine’s Day gift should reflect that. Ditch the stuffed teddy bear and buy your bae a gift that’s as crazy as them. From bacon roses to naming a cockroach, here’s a list of my ten favourite craziest Valentine’s Day gifts that are somehow still hopelessly romantic!
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1. Mail Raid Ride
There’s something timelessly heartfelt about a hand-written letter. It’s thoughtful, it’s traditional, but it’s not exactly the most exciting gift to receive.
Mixing romance and history, travel on a secret railway network at the London Postal Museum. The museum features an immersive mail rail ride through the original tunnels and station platforms of London’s 100-year-old postal railway. In its heyday, it’s said to have delivered around 4 million letters to expectant Londoners.
Prepared to be inspired by a collection of love letters spanning over a century, including war-torn lovers confessing their undying love for each other.
2. Boyfriend/Girlfriend Pillow
Science has proven it – people feel more loving and affectionate toward their partner when they cuddle.
Unfortunately bae won’t always be around for a snuggle. To keep the loneliness at bay, buy your partner a boyfriend/girlfriend pillow. The hug pillow has a soft extension that replicates their arm. It’s said to recreate the comfort of having your beloved partner next to you.
What’s more, the pillow means no dead arm after hours of snuggles. Just make sure they don’t enjoy it too much – you don’t want to be replaced by a pillow.
3. Tooth Ring
Diamonds? Pearls? Rubies? Lame!
Take your romantic jewellery to the next level with a tooth ring. You can have a real human molar tooth set in sterling silver to signify how bat-sh*t crazy you are for each other. Just imagine wearing a piece of your partner’s body on you all time, having a piece of them wherever you go.
Creepy but cute.
4. Bacon Roses
Roses are red.
Bacon is too.
Poems are hard.
Everybody loves a novelty and everybody loves bacon, so it only makes sense to treat your beloved to an edible bouquet of porky flowers. Delicious, crispy, rendered, thick cut bacon, transformed into edible curls of deliciousness?
It’s the gift that keeps on giving.
To make the gift that extra bit special, create your meaty masterpiece from bacon you have created and cured yourself, specifically for your sweetheart. Our bacon masterclass at Cannon & Cannon is the perfect prep for your ingeniously unique Valentine’s Day gift.
5. Chocolate Treasure Hunt
Love is like a box of chocolates – you never know what you’re going to get!
Instead of the conventional box of heart-shaped chocolates that’s been done to death, spoil your loved one with an exhilarating, fun-filled chocolate treasure hunt with MyChocolate.
Racing against the clock, the two of you will team up to solve clever riddles, find clues and navigate maps, along with some essential chocolate supplies. This is one exhilarating but oh-so-delicious way of spending your Valentine’s Day together.
6. Book of Memories
If you’ve been together for more than a few years, chances are you’ve accumulated more than your fair share of timeless memories together.
Transform these memories into a beautiful photo-illustrated hardbound book made by your own personal biographer. This unique gift involves working with a professional writer from Story Terrace, who will artfully put your most meaningful experiences to paper.
The two of you can fondly flip through your book of love whenever you want, reminiscing about the major milestones in your relationship.
7. Caviar Tasting
Considered the most extravagant aphrodisiac in the world, indulge your valentine with a private caviar tasting with renowned Caviar Queen, Laura King. Accompanied by a bottle of Ayala Brut Champagne, learn why these savory pearls of the sea are treasured around the world for its ability to invigorate the libido and support a healthy sex drive.
8. Selfie Toaster
Do you ever love someone you just want to eat their face? Well now you can.
The ingenious custom selfie toaster imprints your gorgeous looking face onto a piece of bread while in the toaster, creating a one of a kind edible portrait. Picture it – you wake up to breakfast in bed, complete with a slice of toast with bae’s face on it. A crazy romantic V-Day gift if I ever hear of one.
9. Name a Cockroach
After the chocolates have been eaten and the flowers have melted there are only two things that remain – your love for each other and cockroaches.
Known for their adaptability and endurance, spoil your sweetie by naming a Madagascan hissing cockroach at the Bronx Zoo. It’s a thoughtful symbol of your defying love for one another, a love that is as hard to kill as a roach.
10. Designer Doggo Coat
Let’s be honest, most relationships have more than two parties involved. No, I’m not talking about a polyamorous relationship, I’m talking about the canine cutie in the picture!
Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity for you to really spoil the furry friend in the family. Pamper your pet with a bespoke Saville row canine coat designed, created, and hand-finished by LoveMyDog’s famous creative director, Lilly Shahravesh.
Together with your loved one, you can completely customise your doggo’s coat with special details and embroidery such as each other’s initials. How adorable!