When you have close friends or family members getting hitched, it’s always a cause for celebration. For those hoping to leave a memorable impression on the newlyweds, giving them funny wedding wishes card that will leave them in stitches is a must. Here are some of the top funny wedding wishes that have a funny spin to them.
Funny Wedding Wishes For the Bride
Darling, expecting your husband to change after marriage is unreasonable. It’s going to take years of work and effort on your part to turn him into the man you really want. Good luck!
May today be everything you hoped, because tomorrow brings the truth: that your carefree days are over, and with them go your youth. Enjoy the reality of daily dishes, washing laundry and cooking meals. Only joking my dear, I wish you all the happy marriage thrills.
To one of my dearest friends, congratulations! I just want to let you know that throughout your marriage you will have times when you deeply love your husband… and then there’s the rest of the time… When that happens, give me a call.
This whirlwind marriage has taken us all by surprise … but I must admit, I love the look of joy in your eyes … though I do hope my dear, it’s not because you two are growing a new surprise. Wishing you all the best for the future.
Congratulations! Remember, that while your new husband may make some odd choices going forward, you can’t say he has bad taste, after all, he picked you!
I couldn’t be happier for you darling, not only did you catch his heart, but you’ve taken his last name too.
If you want a happy marriage, you need to remember that your husband needs to make all the decisions… while you go do what you planned to do anyway. He’ll feel heard and you’ll get what you want, so everyone wins. Just don’t get caught.
Wishing you a wonderful happily ever after, because those late-night parties, out-all-night get-togethers, and lazy weekends won’t be coming back now you’re married.
Congratulations on your new chapter of life, I’m stuck here, still swiping right…
Well done honey on picking a great guy. Remember, this marriage is built to last – but if not, make sure he buys you jewellery every Christmas and birthday.
Funny Wedding Wishes For The Couple
That’s it, today is the last day of freedom for you both – so glad you both picked the right partner for your life sentence.
Congratulations you two, I’m not gonna lie, today was fantastic – but also, you guys totally suck. You’ve just given my mom just another reason to nag at me to get married.
I couldn’t be more thrilled for you – as now that you’re married first, you can help me learn the ‘what not to do’s’ before my big day.
Congratulations on your wedding my dear friends. Remember your honeymoon is your only chance at a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. After that, never again.
I’m so glad you’re getting married today my darling friend – because now you’ll have someone else to irritate when you’re bored.
To my best friend, wishing you all the best on your marriage – think of it like a maze, which you can never leave. On the plus side, while these twists and turns can be maddening, they will also hopefully be enjoyable.
Some marry for love; some marry for money. Some marry for good looks. Then, there are others who marry just for a constant stream of wedding gifts… Here’s hoping you guys aren’t like that and this will be your first and only wedding. Congratulations!
Well done you two on an amazing wedding. You’ve just reminded me of how much I’m saving by not getting hitched.
Congratulations guys! They say you learn a lot about someone when you’re stuck close together, travelling together. Wishing you all the best on your honeymoon.
Some look at marriage as an adventure, while others consider it as a non-stop war zone – wishing you luck on your happily ever after.
I knew you two were crazy in love, but I had no idea you were crazy enough to get hitched. Here’s hoping things work out for the best.
You know, there’s only one guaranteed way to have a happy life … and when I figure out how to keep a happy wife, I’m sure I’ll get married. If you have any advice for me in two years, I’d love to hear it. Congratulations again!
Well done you two on your long-term commitment – I hope you’ll continue to ignore all those small daily annoyances.
Marriage is like a Shakespeare play – you’ll have tragedy, comedy, drama and plot twists you’ll never see coming. All you can do is enjoy the show!
I’m in awe of you two today as you get married and eat cake. I honestly don’t know how you talked yourselves into this, but it sure looks like you’re happy so I guess that’s all that counts.
Wishing you a great wedding day and all the best going forward – you’re definitely going to need it if your kids turn out like you.
To the fruitarian couple I love, you make a lovely pear. Wishing you the best apple-y ever after.
My dear friends, I hate to be the first to say this, but after today, you can’t ever reconsider this choice … glad you think you made the right one.
You two were destined for each other, and I couldn’t be happier for you. This is the first wedding I’ve been to when the cake was also in tiers….
My friends, to keep things going smoothly, you need to keep in mind that only one person can be right in any argument. For the best outcome, remember: It’s never the husband.
Well done on getting married, and I hope you stay happy for the rest of your lives. Remember, divorce is expensive!
Congratulations to you two! May your lifetime of suffering begin tomorrow, so you can enjoy today.
Remember, you haven’t just tied the knot today, you’ve attached a ball and chain to it. Good luck!
Dear roommate, I suppose that now that you’re married, I have no choice but to move out of the apartment… or maybe, you should move in with her and I keep the digs. That way, you can come to me instead of sleeping on the couch when you fight. Think it over!
Congratulations to you both! You’ve just done the equivalent of clicking ‘accept’ on a website’s pop-up box and have no idea what comes next. Neither do I, so best of luck!
Some may say you rushed into this, but I think you’re right on time … before the baby bump shows! Congratulations.
While I may have my beef with the two of you getting hitched, I couldn’t be happier to see you happy and promise I won’t interrupt the ceremony… your dad would probably kill me considering how much he spent. Wishing you all the best.
Thanks so much, dear friends for the free drinks, great food and lovely music. We should do this again next year.
Welcome to the world of married life. Right, you’ve seen all there is to it. Wishing you luck going forward.
I knew that you two were destined to be after he answered ‘rhombus’ to your late teacher joke … well done on finding your weirdo.
Congratulations on your wedding! If you ever get divorced, I want my China set back!
Dear friends, remember: Dating was the prelude, marriage is the main event – so do your best not to mess it up.
To my best friends, I couldn’t be happier you’re now married. Remember, marriage is either a one-way street that leads to divorce or a two-way street called love and compromise. Pick wisely!
Congrats friend, on your wedding day. Let us know what it’s like having a boss at the office, and one at home – and don’t forget to share the juicy bits.
Wishing you both all the best on your happily ever after, even if I’m jealous that you’ve found someone other than me to cook for now.
What a beautiful wedding my friends. I have to say this is either the most extravagant gift ever, or the most expensive and stupid thing you’ve ever done. I guess only time will tell. Wishing you all the best.
Some people say that two halves becoming one halves the fun, but I think you two together doubles the trouble, so it kind of evens out. Congratulations on your marriage.
Enjoy your holy matrimony – it happened ‘cos she makes mean macaroni. Keep making that pasta and you’ll have him loving you for life.
Wishing you a wonderful happily ever after, you cat-lovers are purr-fect together.
Salutations to the bride and groom, remember in marriage, sometimes keeping your eyes closed and mouth shut is the best option.
Dear friends, thanks for making the wedding an open-bar one. I think that’s why so many people said yes to coming. Just joking, you guys are awesome. Best of luck.
My friends, congratulations. I hope you don’t mind my inclusion of burnt bread in my card … after all, they say you should give a toast to the happy couple.
On this boat of life, I’m thrilled you found your soul-matey. Remember how much you love her during those rough seas and storms.
Before you married, you were just madly in love, let’s hoping the love doesn’t drop anytime soon leaving you both mad. Congratulations on your wedding.
Well done! Between the two of you, I’m sure you’ll make every dream come true … even if you can’t agree on anything but your love for each other.
Thanks a lot, you two, for getting hitched. The free food today was great!
Congratulations on your wedding day! I hope you have a world of gifts to open, because I didn’t get you one … only this pithy card. So I guess IOU if this last longer than a year.
You know marriage has been compared to a runaway car – it may be exciting in the beginning, but it becomes terrifying as it goes on. Here’s hoping you’ll make it out alive.
To two of my favourite dog lovers, you doggon did it. Hot diggidy we’re proud of you. Wishing you all the best.
Congratulations! May you both always be able to put up with each other, through thick and thin.
Funny Wedding Wishes From Siblings
I can’t believe that my sweet sister, who swore that boys were gross in her teen years, is tying the knot today. I couldn’t be happier you broke your word – you’ve found a great guy.
Congratulations brother, it seems that a frog can turn into a handsome prince when the right lady appears. Wishing you both the best.
Dear sister, congratulations to you both. May today be the start of something wonderful, and not WW3.
Good luck brother in your marriage. I’m so glad that you’re past your selfish phase, otherwise, it’s going to be hard for you now that you two have become one … since you only have one bathroom, one TV remote, and one bed, with one duvet.
Dear little sis, I’m still angry you’re marrying before me, but I’m very happy for you both.
Here’s hoping this marriage lasts like moms and dads did. They really lived up to the phrase till death do us part…
Congratulations brother, from now on you’ll be finding out precisely how much you didn’t know before … your wife will happily point this out to you. Just go with it All the best, from me and my wife.
You know, another word for marriage is commitment, right? I hope that you stay committed to each other … as you’re in for a life sentence here.
Congratulations on your wedding today sis and your commitment to each other. Seeing two people so committed… Wait, isn’t that the word they use when they take people to mental institutions? Anyway, I hope you stay madly in love with each other.
Congratulations brother, on picking someone so lovely. It’s her I feel sorry for, since she has no idea how terrible you are at helping around the home. Best of luck!
Dear sister, wishing you all the best on the longest sleepover you’ll ever have in your life. If he annoys you, remember, a hand in ice water is worth changing the sheets. Good luck!
Dear brother, I’m pretty sure you realise that marriage is a trap, but if I had to pick anyone for you to spend your life with, I’d pick her for you every time.
To my sister, remember, fairy-tale marriages don’t exist. You’re going to have to work like Cinderella to keep things running smoothly – on the plus side, he’s going to have to do the same unless he becomes rich like Prince Charming and hires someone to help you. Congratulations to you both.
Congratulations brother, you’ve finally done it! I hope your hard head will come in handy, as marriage is remembering to fall in love with the same person, over and over again … and I know how hard you fell the first time.
Dear sister, remember that blind wives and deaf husbands are the happiest ones around. All the best.
Happy wedding day darling! I hope you keep in mind that marriage is like an ongoing drama – with plenty of comedy moments if you’re lucky, and tons of melodrama if you’re not.
Dear sis, remember if he doesn’t treat you right, I’ll be there for you … with a shovel and a spade, I’ll be there for you, with a knuckleduster and bring the pain … but here’s hoping he turns out to be the great guy we know and love too.
Dear brother, remember that when it comes to the ‘I do’ part of the wedding, you need to remember your ‘I do’ involves saying ‘I do what she says’, and you’re guaranteed a happy marriage.
Dear sis, congratulations on your wedding day. If it doesn’t quite work out with him, you still get a do-over once … or twice more, like aunty Cheryl. But after that, I’d call it quits.
Well done brother, I wish you all the best. Remember the rings of power? Well, you’ve got your three rings down: the engagement ring, the marriage ring, and next up for you is the suffering. I hope you’re prepared.
Hey sis, congrats on your wedding day. I still think you’re making the most expensive mistake of your life to date, but you seem happy. Wishing you all the best.
Dear brother, I hope you realise you’ve signed up for a lifetime of problem-solving. You’ll be solving problems for things you never even knew were problems before… like your snoring. Good luck!
Funny Wedding Wishes From The Family
Remember, till death do us part is always an option … just kidding! Wishing you both all the best.
All you need is love … and a whole lotta fairy dust, to make your happily ever after a reality. Congrats on your wedding.
Today is the first day of your new book of life together and I can’t wait to see how the next chapter turns out, but no spoilers!
Wishing you both luck on your marriage … especially once the honeymoon is over – that’s when the real fighting begins.
I couldn’t be happier for you on your wedding day as you’ve finally found that special someone whose sense of humour is as strange as yours – always keep ‘em close.
Marriage – the end of a good relationship, and the start of a great one … especially the tussle of wills that will happen. Wishing you both all the best.
Funny Wedding Wishes For The Groom
Dear brother, congratulations on your wedding day. I hope you realise how much I love you … because I’ve just realised this year, I’m going to have to buy two Christmas gifts, two birthday gifts, and two Easter baskets … don’t have kids any time soon or I’ll be broke!
If you wish to ensure you have a long and happy marriage, you only need to remember these six words: “I’ll do the dishes, my dear.”
Wishing you well on your wedding day. Remember, just because you’re a married man, you’re not yet a father so you can’t make dad jokes just yet. It’d be a faux pa.
Dear friend, I hope you keep in mind that from today onwards you two have become one. This doesn’t mean you get to own her, but you do get half her stuff.
Congratulations, you’re a lucky guy – I doubt you’ve released yet that you’ve just signed your life away. Keep smiling no matter what.
Well done on your marriage my friend, you’ve picked a partner who loves screaming on rollercoasters as much as you do – that’s how I knew she was a keeper.
Many blessings to you today my friend. You’ve married a beautiful bride. Remember how much you love her, because from today onwards, she’s going to expect you to fix every little thing for her when it breaks … and no, looking at the manual isn’t allowed.
Well done to my best friend on getting hitched. My best advice to you is don’t forget your wedding anniversary, ever, or you won’t forget it…
Congratulations buddy! Hey, quick question, do you know why wives are more dangerous than mafia men? Because they only want your money or your life … your wife is going to want both!
They say married men tend to live far longer than those who are single … but having seen a few of my friends who are married, I have to say, I think it just feels longer.
I hope you’re happy today buddy because your lifelong contract starts tomorrow. So I hope you negotiated good terms and parole for good behaviour at least twice a month.
Love can be sweet, love can be kind, but if you anger your wife, you’ll discover those ‘worse’ times they spoke about in your vows today. Good luck!
Congratulations! You’ve made it to the best day of your life – saying I do to the one you love. What no one tells you though, is the worst days of your life come after this. Just joking, wishing you both all the best for the future.
Well done my friend, you’ve done it! You got the pretty girl, she got a fancy ring, and your big wedding was amazing! The hard part now, though, is you need to figure out how to keep buying her expensive things. Good luck buddy!
My friend, remember that when you’re sick, now that you’re married, you can spend the day in bed and ring for her to come and feed you jelly. I’m so jell-ous!
Having the chance to make your best friends smile on their wedding day or give them a reason to laugh out loud is a special thing to do. If you’re wanting to give a funny wedding wishes and unique on their special day, look no further than this list which covers 95+ funny wedding wishes.